When Bad Ideas Affect Us All

When Bad Ideas Affect Us All

In the US, much of the complaint coming from religious people about being religious is that “we” (in the US) tend to “compartmentalize” our religion. As if that’s a bad thing. Look at the Middle East for an excellent example of non-compartmentalized religion. Do you actually think the US would do a better job?(If you do, share your thoughts in the comments section.) (more…)

Privacy and What Not to Do

Privacy and What Not to Do

Recently a Facebook friend lamented about his privacy having been breeched in an area he deemed “none of your business”. To me, the fact that he announced it on Facebook was ironic. Moreover, he, whether he intended to or not, probably moved a few of his friends to take a moment to find out what all the fuss was about. After all, what’s five minutes if you know where and how to look?

Not smart. Not smart at all.

privacyWhich leads me to ask, what is private? Not much, but this is not a recent occurrence. Our privacy has been diminishing since the 1930s and now it’s easier than ever to find out most anything you’d like about someone; particularly the stuff you would prefer not be found out.

If you are interested in a house, you can find out whatever you’d like, including all the owners, major improvements (that have been legally done), and how much it is worth. You can also find out about foreclosures, sheriff sales, and whether someone was killed or died badly in the home. It’s all part of disclosure and most, if not all is free for the asking (or googling).

If you want to hire someone, or even if you are merely curious, you can find out if someone tends to break the law, whether they pay their bills, or if their resume is accurate. That information is also mostly free, or available for a small fee.

So how do you keep that information from prying eyes? Newsflash! The commoner has never been able to do that. It’s nearly impossible to do it now.

For example, recently I had someone, who fancied himself a troll, trying to engage me on Twitter in a discussion he obviously had no experiential knowledge about. His was a philosophy based on his own world view, which didn’t necessarily line up with the facts and reality of the situation. I pointed that out to him. So he tried to wow me with his credentials, which (unfortunately for him) were overstated. How did I find that out? I googled him and found his profile on Linked In. I had just enough information to be able to find him in under 5 minutes. Another five and I could have run a poor man’s background check. Scary? Heck yes. Nevertheless I stopped him dead in his tracks and hope he learned something like: It’s really a bad idea to lie about your credentials when you are going to seminary. UPDATE: This person truly is a creep. I’ve blocked him on Twitter and he tries to leave a comment here about how he doesn’t do Twitter often and that I didn’t stop him. Duh. Try not doing it at all. The world will get along just fine.

Back to my Facebook friend with the privacy issues. It will do no good to suggest to him that the best way to protect one’s privacy is to have nothing in one’s past that has gotten one arrested or sued. It’s too late for that. However, the next best thing is to avoid arousing curiosity. It’s also a bit late for that. But the real kicker in the whole thing is that he’s blaming someone for nosing in what he thinks is his business alone; business which exposes him as a liar and a hypocrite when compared to his stated values. Having that bit of background adds a certain context into everything he says.You can almost see the stories he tells himself to avoid the cognitive dissonance. For me, it just adds an entertainment factor to everything he says.

“What if it all came true?”

“What if it all came true?”

M8DCARR EC014Today, thanks to my friend, Monica, I was reading “Five Great John Hughes Moments” on the day he died (which, for whatever reason has had four of the moments cut out of it) and experienced one of those aha moments.

What if it all came true?

It depends on what “it” is. In the context of the above mentioned article, it’s where the girl finally gets to interact with the guy of her dreams.

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Families of Autism: We Live in Fear of This Sort of Thing

Families of Autism: We Live in Fear of This Sort of Thing

Letter_zps19e57f17If you are squeamish, don’t read the letter in the picture. It is a mean, vicious letter to a family that has enough to deal with in their lives.

The family has a 13 year old autistic child that appears to be non-verbal and low functioning. I have an autistic grandchild who lives with us that is 5 years old, non-verbal, and low functioning. His mom has MS and is getting worse. I’m getting older.

It is very hard to steer these children into appropriate activities. The tendency is to engage in repetitive behaviors that are annoying. When they are redirected, they tend to fight back, sometimes aggressively. Leaving them to their own devices means they tend to wail, scream, run, and bang into stuff. My grandchild likes to remove clothing and smear feces when she’s not climbing, jumping, walking the deck rail, eating plant life, or eating and drinking someone else’s stuff. Never a dull moment.

We (presciently)  planted trees all around our back yard when we moved in 2 decades ago, which is fenced in. While the trees provide a visual screen and maybe even a sound screen, I am very aware that we are noisy – and she is sometimes naked. My granddaughter’s first name is often the first word out of my mouth, followed by “Don’t!” or “Stop!”, or “Get down!”.

We are probably not considered the best neighbors. But I have had worse. None of which moved me to send an anonymous letter to them telling them what a pain-in-the-butt it is to have them as a neighbor. I have never suggested (out loud or in print) that anyone was better off dead. Some things are better left unsaid.

I am well aware that my granddaughter may never be a “contributing” member of society as is commonly thought of, and I mourn that. But my granddaughter has also caused me to reconsider what constitutes “contributing”. If anything, she contributes to society by making others thankful they have normal kids. She does a great job of keeping food and drink out of the pool area of our neighborhood pool by helping herself to those things (since we have a no food policy, I don’t do much to stop her). I have become much better at putting things away and simplifying our lives. I have a much clearer idea of what is important and what hill I’m willing to die on. I’ve also learned to say no and not feel guilty. There is only so much I can do and the family comes first, and then I need my rest.

Life is messy even in the best of circumstances. I’m not asking you to walk in my shoes, I’m just asking that you show a little compassion while I walk in my shoes.