Something that happened at our house the other night reminded me of this short movie called “Food for Thought.” For 8 minutes, Food for Thought delves into perceptions and how people act in situations based on their perceptions.
Well, there was a perceptual mismatch that took place in our house. After 2 1/2 days of preparations, eating, doing laundry, and travel, with an overnight of a baby, a toddler, and a 5 year old thrown in for good measure, I was tired, and after taking prescribed drugs that ensure I will sleep, I went to bed a good 2 hours earlier than normal. Since our son is back at home, I closed the door to shut out most of the noise and the hall light.
David and I usually meet upstairs during the 11:00 news and we watch Seinfeld, then drift off to either Letterman or Jimmy Kimmel, depending on how awake we are.
When I woke up at about 1:30 because the light was on and the TV was blaring, I knew something was up, so I threw on a robe (kid at home) and staggered down the stairs (fully drugged for sleep) to see why David wasn’t in bed. Surely, surely, surely he was not still playing his guitar!
As I was headed out to his studio to see why he wasn’t upstairs in bed, up popped his head from the sofa in the family room.
“What are you doing on the couch?” I asked.
“I thought you were mad at me”, he said.
“Why did you think I was mad?”
“The door was locked,” he said. “I knocked and you didn’t answer, so I thought you were mad.”
“About what?”
Then he rambled off a list of things he thought I could be mad about.
“Since when have I ever been mad over those things?”
“Never.”
“Well, that makes a lot of sense.” (not)
So I had just opened the door and walked out of the room and obviously if I thought the door was locked, I would have had to unlock it to get out, so I’m not sure what’s going on. But I staggered back up the stairs to check the door, and sure enough, the door handle was locked – probably by the 5 year old, since he likes to do things like that and he was up in my room when I was getting dressed earlier. However, if I didn’t have to use the handle to get out, that means the door wasn’t shut all the way, so I had to ask, “Did you push on the door?” Nah, he didn’t try that. It was easier to think he was somehow in the doghouse than to think the locked door was simply an oversight.
Hey, now I am getting a bit mad.
The next day I ask him how often during our marriage have I been unreasonably mad at him. Hardly ever he admits. Then why did you jump to the conclusion that I was mad at all?
So that’s where I’ve left it. He needs to figure out why he thinks I would get mad at something that I never get mad about and lock him out of the room, when that’s not normal behavior for me.
So how does this all tie in with “Food for Thought”? The short is about a guy who orders a 2 cheeseburger meal at McDonald’s, sets it on a table, then goes to get some condiments. When he returns, he finds a guy eating a 2 cheeseburger meal, and what happens next makes for great comedy, as the whole story unfolds, which culminates with his discovery that he’s been sitting at the wrong table the whole time. The brief movie provides great insights on how our internal talk and subsequent perceptions can wrongly skew a situation.